For many people, just the thought of commenting on FriendlyChristian.com is scary. I know because many of you have told me so.

In response, I’ve enabled anonymous commenting. What does this mean for you? It means that you now can comment without having to leave your name or email address. Good news.

Have a great weekend

I’ve decided to start a comment competition. Simply put, at the end of May, I will select a comment that really stood out to me as the winner. The comment author will receive $5,000,000 in cash and an all expense paid trip to England to meet hoverfrog.

That’s a lie. The winner will actually be given an opportunity to guest post on FriendlyChristian.com. Obviously there will be a few guidelines that the writer will have to abide by, but for the most part she will be able to freely speak her mind on a topic that will be relevant to this site. 

If the competition & guest post go well, perhaps I’ll do this again in June

Check out Kristina’s post on sex if you’re looking for a good place to start.

Ready? Set? GO!

I’ve recently finished Hemant’s book I Sold My Soul on eBay.  He particularly looks at what does and doesn’t work in attracting people to church.

I think that’s the first thing that’s wrong with the idea: Attracting people to church.  Shouldn’t people want to come to church of their own volition.  Do you need to advertise?  Should you advertise or are you going to attract people who are insincere in their worship?  If you need to advertise the message then maybe the message isn’t reaching people.

For me, faith should be personal.  A strongly held personal conviction of some inner truth.  Of course a person who holds to a deep faith will feel enlightened and wish to share that enlightenment with others, to raise them up to the same standard.  The very nature of a personal conviction though is that it is different for everyone.  Your idea of God differs from your neighbour’s idea of God.

To me anyone trying to share their idea of faith is about as effective as a stranger phoning me up trying to sell me car insurance. I walk and get the train, I don’t need car insurance and I don’t care how cheap it is or how many bells and whistles it has. I don’t care if it comes with a free doohicky and how the hell did they get my number and, by the way, I want to talk to your supervisor.  It is ineffective advertising that turns people away.

If I want to explore religion then there are a dozen churches within walking distance of my house who advertise various faiths. I can turn up and ask questions if I want to. Any form of advertising turns me off and makes it less likely that I will choose to listen to your message, not more likely.

What doesn’t work?  Selling Jesus.  That doesn’t work.

I’ll tell you what works best. Getting out there and doing some good. Feeding the hungry, offer shelter and warmth, being a friend to people who need it. If they ask what your motivation is for doing good then tell them.

That would be the most effective way to get me to church.  Show me the benefits, pique my interest and let me explore.

I want to give up. You won’t let me.

I felt like I can’t do it. You tell me I can.

I don’t think it’s possible. You smile as you inform me that you’ve ‘got my back.’

I don’t feel smart enough. You tell me how wise I am.

I feel so insignificant. You thank me for the positive impact that I’ve had on your life.

I don’t think I can continue. You tell me how much you admire my persistence and dedication.

I feel beat up. Your words replenish my energy.

It is too much for me to carry. You tell me how strong I am.

(click the pic to enlarge. look underneath the apple.)

The thousands of ants who laughed when this little guy spoke of his dream to steal the luscious, ripe, green apple from the picnic are are now forgotten thanks to the one single ant who offered his small word of encouragement: “I know you can do it, friend. I have faith in you!”

Cheesy? Perhaps. Relevant? You betcha, bud.

Don’t ever underestimate the power of words. Your encouragement has the ability to change lives.

Join me in encouraging someone today. God only knows how much some of us can use it. Chances are you already know of somebody who could use a compliment or two.

If I had a nickel for every time I heard a pastor say something about guys struggling with sexual lust/porn/whatever, I could pay my way through a Master’s AND a Doctorate. Most preachers preach to the guys because of how visual they are and how the media bombards us with sexual images, etc.

But what about the girls? Granted we may not be as visually stimulated as guys, but we’re not blind or asexual. We have those feelings, urges, emotions…you get the point.

But heavens if a girl mentions she deals with lust….no we don’t discuss that at bible study. Maybe this goes back to the whole “girls are suppose to be clean and pure” idea that’s been around for years. I dunno. All I know is that if I see a guy who is hot, I’m most likely not thinking, “wow he must have a nice personality.”

Now does that mean if I see a guy and think he is attractive I am lusting? I don’t think so.

Definition of lust (according to dictionary.com): to have a strong or excessive craving, uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite, passionate or overmastering desire or craving.

I do not think it is a sin to look at a girl or guy and have a fleeting thought of attraction. To constantly think about that person (if they are not your wife/husband or they are someone else’s) over and over and over again until you cannot think about anything else, that’s lust. And it can take away the beauty of the rest of the world around us

Confession time: I have a BAD problem with lust. We’re not talking “wow, he’s an attractive gentleman,” but rather an intense desire to “get to know him” in the KJV biblical sense. Yes this is a girl talking! It doesn’t help that everybody I know is getting married and telling me that it’s “worth the wait”. Well what do I now? Sit and knit? It has become so bad at times I start fantasying about people I know and these thoughts cloud my mind and I can’t focus. There are times when I want to do nothing more than lie in bed and “let my mind wonder.” And like the black goo from Spiderman 3, it takes me over. Takes over my thoughts, my heart and my mind. And I don’t want that. I want to keep my sexuality safe for my husband (cause I’m sure not called to celibacy) so that when marriage does come along, I can think of him and only him. Plus, I’m not a big fan of the whole “it’s ok for my husband to lust after so and so. She’s hot.” I mean (and if this gets too personal I apologize) when I want my husband to make love to me, I want it be to well me. My beauty should be enough for him. I want him to think of me when we are together, not another woman. I don’t care how “good it gets”. It’s like mental cheating. But I digress. As for now, I’m taking it one step at a time.

Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.