If I had a nickel for every time I heard a pastor say something about guys struggling with sexual lust/porn/whatever, I could pay my way through a Master’s AND a Doctorate. Most preachers preach to the guys because of how visual they are and how the media bombards us with sexual images, etc.
But what about the girls? Granted we may not be as visually stimulated as guys, but we’re not blind or asexual. We have those feelings, urges, emotions…you get the point.
But heavens if a girl mentions she deals with lust….no we don’t discuss that at bible study. Maybe this goes back to the whole “girls are suppose to be clean and pure” idea that’s been around for years. I dunno. All I know is that if I see a guy who is hot, I’m most likely not thinking, “wow he must have a nice personality.”
Now does that mean if I see a guy and think he is attractive I am lusting? I don’t think so.
Definition of lust (according to dictionary.com): to have a strong or excessive craving, uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite, passionate or overmastering desire or craving.
I do not think it is a sin to look at a girl or guy and have a fleeting thought of attraction. To constantly think about that person (if they are not your wife/husband or they are someone else’s) over and over and over again until you cannot think about anything else, that’s lust. And it can take away the beauty of the rest of the world around us
Confession time: I have a BAD problem with lust. We’re not talking “wow, he’s an attractive gentleman,” but rather an intense desire to “get to know him” in the KJV biblical sense. Yes this is a girl talking! It doesn’t help that everybody I know is getting married and telling me that it’s “worth the wait”. Well what do I now? Sit and knit? It has become so bad at times I start fantasying about people I know and these thoughts cloud my mind and I can’t focus. There are times when I want to do nothing more than lie in bed and “let my mind wonder.” And like the black goo from Spiderman 3, it takes me over. Takes over my thoughts, my heart and my mind. And I don’t want that. I want to keep my sexuality safe for my husband (cause I’m sure not called to celibacy) so that when marriage does come along, I can think of him and only him. Plus, I’m not a big fan of the whole “it’s ok for my husband to lust after so and so. She’s hot.” I mean (and if this gets too personal I apologize) when I want my husband to make love to me, I want it be to well me. My beauty should be enough for him. I want him to think of me when we are together, not another woman. I don’t care how “good it gets”. It’s like mental cheating. But I digress. As for now, I’m taking it one step at a time.
Philippians 4:8:
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.