For financial reasons, right now I’m at a 2 year college earning as many general education credits as I can transfer to a 4 year university. It will soon be time for me to transfer to that university to earn my Bachelor’s degree. I honestly feel like God is calling me to earn my degree from a specific university. It is a nationally recognized Christian school that offers an amazing religion program. In addition, they offer a ‘Christian Leadership minor.’ I have met with the right people, applied, sent in my transcripts, and done all I can currently do in order to start attending as soon as this fall. There’s only one problem.

Tuition is over 9 grand per semester. Ugh…

I currently receive $4,400 per semester from the government through my G.I. Bill, a good 5 grand short of tuition alone. Start figuring in books, lab fees, etc, and the 9 grand quickly increases, yet my $4,400 stays the same. In short, there’s just no way I can afford attending this specific school. I refuse to take out student loans. If God wants me at this school, God will have to move mountains.

Christians love to talk about their “callings.” Frankly, I’m a bit intimidated by that word, as I’m not entirely sure how to determine my specific “calling.” Many pastors tell stories of when/how God called them into ministry. “I was 16 years old and standing in the kitchen when the Lord spoke to me,” or something along those lines is typically how it goes. I, however, have yet to experience that supernatural obviousness. My questionable method of determining my next steps is more like, “I prayed and prayed, didn’t get any sort of clear-cut answer, and eventually just went for it.”

I struggle saying that I’m “called” into ministry. Every time somebody asks me what I plan on doing with my degree I wrestle with God? in coming up with the correct answer. I DO feel called into ministry, but I haven’t had that obvious encounter with God! As a result, I am uncertain and usually sound like many other young college students:

Friend: What do you want to do once you finish school?
Me: Uhhhhhh……DUUUuhuuhhh….hhuuuuuhh??? I DUNNNNNOOOO…

It’s sad. It’s also kinda pathetic.

Last week I had a dream. In my dream I was back in my bedroom of the house where I grew up. Fighting a bad case of restlessness, I was unable to sleep as I pondered what my future may hold (an dead-on representation of many actual nights). Eventually I heard my door squeak open. In walked my dad. In this dream, my dad was megachurch pastor, Andy Stanley. I know, weird.

Dad: Why are you still awake, son?
Me: I don’t know, dad. Just trying to figure out what my future may hold.
Dad: Well, what do you think you’re gonna do with the rest of your life?
Me: I don’t know, dad…I mean, I kinda feel like God has called me into ministry, but I don’t really know if…
Dad: Wait, enough is enough, Bill. I’ve been listening to you beat around the bush for the past [can't remember how long]. Here’s the deal. Either you’ve been called into ministry or you haven’t. Pick one and stick to it. Be a man and have some faith.

So went my dream, and so goes my new direction. Yes, I have been called into ministry. I’m not backing down anymore. If I’m wrong, I’m sure God will redirect me. In the mean time, I’m going for it and giving it all I have!I will continue to pursue this calling (notice the removed quotes). In addition, I will continue to pursue the Christian university. I can’t do either on my own. I’m excited to see God show up.

Truthfully, I’m also nervous. Uncertain futures worry me. Not knowing where I’ll be going to school in the fall drives me nuts. Nearly 10 grand a semester is a lot of money. I have absolutely no clue where all that money might come from. Faithfully, I say that I trust that God will come through. My flesh says quite the opposite, though.

Finally, I want(ed) to offer a bold statement. I once heard a story of this guy telling a violent 3rd world tribe that they could kill him and his team if God didn’t bring a stillborn baby back to life. God brought the baby back to life. Many of my FC readers are atheists. I would love to ask my atheist friends to watch God provide a way for me to pay 10k/semester.

But I won’t. I’m a chicken. And I lack the required faith. Honest enough?

Popularity: 6% [?]