A Moment With…Leaving Eden (pt. 2)

Yesterday I posted the first half of my interview with the author of Leaving Eden, an undercover Atheist attending a Christian college. Here’s part 2!

• In your post “no honesty for atheists. [tag]atheists[/tag] lie” you stated, “Maybe I should just shut up and let Christians tell my story for me, since they know me so well.” That comment really made me think. Could you expand on that a bit?

That was a sarcastic comment that came out of the frustration I felt whenever I tried to tell my story to Christians. Many times [tag]Christians[/tag] ask me to talk about my deconversion and my atheism, but then refuse to believe what I said. It seemed to me like they didn’t want to listen to what I thought if it differed from what they thought it should be. To me, contradicting someone when they talk about their personal journey is something that you just don’t do, yet Christians were doing it to me left and right. Many Christians seem to think that they know my thoughts better than I do. Why ask a question if you’re not willing to accept the answer? Why listen to my story if you’re not going to believe it?

• I often feel unfairly judged as a Christian. I can’t stand the “one Christian speaks for every Christian” way of thinking (which, in my opinion is extremely ignorant). As a Christian, did you ever feel yourself lumped into that category?

I did. My experience was probably not that different from any other evangelical Christian who is theologically conservative and politically liberal.

• Do you still keep in contact with any of your old church friends?

I don’t really see any friends from [tag]church[/tag] anymore. Many of those friendships were centered around church, so we didn’t really have a way to relate when we no longer had that in common. I had many other similar friendships, with people in bible study or prayer groups for example, that were based solely on our common faith, and it was the only thing we ever talked about. Those friendships disintegrated quickly because we simply had nothing to talk about anymore.

• Your post “coming out and the absence of religion” made (and makes) me sick to my stomach. You and I emailed back and forth a few times in discussion. I told you that the way you’re feeling now reminded me of how I felt every day before dedicating my life to [tag]Christ[/tag], and that I never wanted to feel that way again. As careful as I was with my words, without worrying about hurting my feelings, how did my statement make you feel?

I really appreciated your honesty, but I admit I was frustrated. My feelings about my deconversion and about Christianity are so complex that I try to simply document them without drawing conclusions; I simply write about things as they happen, even if I don’t necessarily know what it means. I felt like you might have misunderstood what I was trying to say, but I’ve been trying to accept that misunderstanding happens when you’re trying to communicate your story to someone else who hasn’t experienced it. I think it’s only natural to want to reach conclusions and make sense of observations, and it’s certainly natural to extrapolate from your own experience, but it still is frustrating.

• If you could gather every self-proclaimed follower of Christ in a room and have their attention for the duration of one comment, what would you say?

Live the gospel before you speak it.

• If you could gather every Atheist in a room and have their attention for the length of one comment, what would you say?

I thought about this for a long time and I can’t think of anything, mostly because I don’t think of atheists as a cohesive group with anything in common to address.

Here’s a comment for everybody: embrace difference. There’s a lot to learn and gain from people who have very different beliefs and backgrounds from you.

• I’ve struggled putting together this list of questions just about as much as I’ve ever struggled with anything before. Any ideas as to why?

I struggled with answering these questions too. When I talk to Christians about faith and atheism, I use a lot of effort to make sure I articulate things clearly and don’t say anything offensive. I think these conversations definitely require more thought than talking to someone who has the same beliefs as you do. But it’s definitely worth it.

Many thanks to my new friend at Leaving Eden. I’m honored to be able to call you a friend.

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