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I’ve recently found myself upset with God quite often. I wonder why it’s always so hard for me to find my next step. I wonder why I typically feel like my prayers are bouncing off a brick wall; as if I’m talking to myself, as many of my Atheist friends would understand.
Last night I told my cousin that I don’t feel like there’s any point to praying. “If, in the end, God is gonna do what God is gonna do, why should I even bother? It’s not like my prayers are gonna sway God’s decision one way or the other, right? And if I’m just praying, ‘God, may your will be done,’ isn’t that a bit redundant (since it’ll be done anyways)?”
“On top of all this, I can’t remember any times that God has answered my prayers!” I told him.
At present, it is Thursday afternoon. I am here at work putting in one of my two eight hour shift that I work each week. Yes, you read that right: I only work twice a week. The rest of the week I focus on school. That’s my life. That’s it. Work two days a week, school three, homework/studies seven.
I am living the life of an answered prayer. God truly gave me the desires of my heart. He moved a mountain and stopped the sun (as my cousin biblically referenced) in order for me to be able to live as I am currently living. Yet I continue to find myself discontent; in search for the next big step.
I’m having a very hard time adjusting to this new lifestyle. This is the first time in many many years that I am not employed full-time (not even close). I enjoy school and I get to wear whatever I want while I attend (I wore sweats last Monday!!!!). It doesn’t feel right!
I am one of those people that wants to be living my future right now. Anybody else like that? I have an extremely hard time living today for what it is: today. I am anything but a ’stop and smell the roses’ type of guy; although it is something I hope to become. God has me in a season of learning and preparation. It’s hard to believe that all he wants me to do right now is give 100% to the things that are currently on my plate. I’m not used to being content with what I have.
This is gonna take some work!
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A book that really helped me with this same issue “The Prayer Matrix” by David Jeremiah
I am the same in I want the future yesterday, and learning patience is no fun, but I promise you my friend that it is all going to be worth it! Prayer does work, it does move HIS hand, NO I don’t understand how, and the conversation in prayer builds the relationship…HEY I believe you know all that, just giving my two cents.:)>-
Your two cents are always welcome, Darla! Thanks, I’ll check out the book
So I was talking to my best friend yesterday and we were extremely frustrated with God. ~X( We couldn’t figure out why things had been going so crappy for so long. “It isn’t fair” is a phrase that we used often during our conversation. We questioned why it was or if it was worth it to follow God. So we came up with a plan and then parted ways for the night. Well today I finally realized what God has been trying to show me for months and months and for the first time in a LONG time I have a peace “beyond all understanding.” As for my best friend, he is finally realizing he is living an answered prayer while all the time thinking God doesn’t answer prayers. We are both now finally focusing on God and things are already 50 times better. I thought about the original question… And THAT is why we follow God. Hope this helps
I don’t understand. Specifically I don’t understand where God comes into your feelings of discontent.
To quote the Devil’s Dictionary:
Pray
v.
To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
OK, you know I’m not religious but I always liked the phrase “God helps those who help themselves” which isn’t a biblical quote but one from Ben Franklin. All those self help books teach the same. If you are disatisfied with something in your life then change it. There’s an Americanism for just his sort of feeling: “If God gives you lemons, make lemonade”.
On the religious front though I have trouble understanding how the faithful ponder the question of what God wants you to do. I mean isn’t God supposed to be unknowable.
My dad used to tell us ‘life isn’t fair’ just about every time we complained about something not being fair. Apparently, my family was in the minority - my wife says her parents rarely (never?) said life wasn’t fair. If I had a dime for every time someone said ‘I know life isn’t fair BUT…’ There is no but. Life isn’t fair, period.
Reminds me of the song “unanswered prayers” by Garth Brooks. Im not a big country fan, but that song has made me think about my unanswered prayers pretty seriously.
I remember once I felt like total crap and nothing was going the way I wanted it too. I prayed really hard for a month straight for a very certain thing to happen that I felt like was the only thing that could bring me out of my slump. Of course it didnt happen, and after a while it was too late. So I basically said “screw you god, you don’t love me” and I gave up on him and decided I was just going to do it myself. I wasn’t angry or anything, but I just kind of forgot about god and his lack of changing my situation. Cause whenever I thought about god I associated him with his failure to help me, it was depressing. So I gave up on him and focused on other things.
I decided that I was just going to live life how I wanted too. I was gonna live my life like nobody was watching, and be a role model to myself. I started helping people because that’s what my role model self would do. I stopped being so shy and did the things that I didn’t want to do (homework mostly). When running track and I felt like I could go no further, I told myself it was just pain and I kept running. I started to read books that I had been meaning to read, and started a writing journal where I would write a piece of fiction everyday. Once I had become the person I had always told myself I wanted to be, I realized that god helped me the whole way by doing nothing. I had to learn that I couldn’t depend on him for everything. I had to help him help myself. It was my attitude, not my situation that was making me depressed. And once I fixed my attitude, my situation improved. I then knew that even when I turned my back on god, he was still watching over me. Helping my in ways that I couldn’t understand until long after it was finished. Just like how Joshua had to step into the river Jordan before parting it.