I tutor for a summer program. The first day there was this adorable little girl who was constantly calling out her classmate. I kept telling her “worry about yourself” instead of tattling.

And yet…

I complain about and secretly judge writers who spend more time whining about Mother Theresa and religion than actually contributing anything important to society. I roll my eyes in disgust when I see “religious” people talking about how much God hates their guts. About a week ago, I basically went off in two, count em two, Bible study groups back to back on how the church needs to be more actively loving and more giving.

However, on the drive back from the Bible studies, I realized how much I meet my own standards of being a “good Christian” who contributes greatly to society:

Not much.

Ouch.

If you looked up hypocrite in the dictionary, you’ll find my happy face with freaking arrows pointing towards it.

So why with the harsh judgment of others?

Maybe it’s because it’s easier to see their flaws. Or maybe it’s because it’s a heck of a lot harder to look at myself in the mirror and see what I have to work with.

I dunno.

I believe that I often forget how much grace God has given me over the years. And as I try to remind myself of this undeserved, yet unchanging grace that I am given, hopefully I can in turn show this same grace to others.

“Forgive those as you have been forgiven.”

Kindergartners can teach you a heck of a lot!

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In light of what Bill posted not too long ago, (25 Confessions Of A Christian Dude) I have decided to do something of my own.

1. I have a really hard time focusing when I am in a prayer group.
2. I’m really sensitive.
3. I actually think the movie Dogma is funny.
4. I don’t exactly have the best self-esteem.
5. I have OCD tendencies (especially when it comes to locking doors).
6. As much as I love my Christian brethren for loving Jesus and having talent to sing, I’m not a fan of a lot of “Christian” music (Plus, a lot of the music sounds like it comes from like the early 90’s or something).
7. When someone does something stupid on the road and almost causes me an accident, I swear like a sailor.
8. When someone disagrees with me, I secretly judge them.
9. I have never seen Lost and I’m not a fan of The Office.
10. I believe that everyone has faith (regardless of religious beliefs) and that saying you don’t makes you either a hypocrite or completely clueless.
11. I LOVE the Beatles.
12. I am more girly than I’ll admit.
13. I have a nasty temper.
14. I’m all about receiving grace. Not so much giving it.
15. I get pissed off when people interrupt me when I am saying something important.
16. I love being the center of attention.
17. When I know I am going to be around guys at an event, I have the desire to get them to notice me physically.
18. I get so annoyed when preachers talk about their political beliefs on the pulpit.
19. I am all about the crushes. Right now, I’m on about four I think.
20. I’m a liberal (You hear that thud? That’s the sound of an old woman fainting. j/k!).
21. I am in love with sketchy rap music and sometimes prefer it over Christian rap.
22. Sometimes, I get so angry at some of the responses I see on this site that I almost spit fire.
23. One of the reasons I believe in God is nature. It’s SO beautiful.
24. Although I say that one of the reasons I want to lose weight is because of health (which is true), another reason is because I want to be hotter.
25. Some of these things I do not want to admit on this list because I believe they may be used against me.

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On a dark rainy night in England many years ago, a young man tries to escape the clutches of those who want him hanged. Deep down he knows that he has committed a terrible crime. He is not yet ready to die. Faster and faster he runs throughout the city, as fast as his legs can carry him. His body shakes of fear and he becomes increasingly weary. Only his mind and his heart pushes him through “just a little further”. In the background he hears, “Stop him!” Even though his legs ache, the young man continues to run. As he looks back to see if he is safe, he trips over a pothole. The mud, water and gravel cover his face and sting his eyes. His leg is cut, blood dripping from the knee. And just as he starts to lose hope, he looks up and see the stained glass windows of a church. The young man picks himself up and heads toward the church. As he stumbles inside, he cries out “Sanctuary!” An elderly priest greets the young man and assures him that he is safe.

Ok this is a bit of a historical exaggeration, but back in the day the church was a place where criminals could be safe from persecution. All they had to do was cry “Sanctuary!” and they were safe until they could decide whether or not to confess.

This is how I envision the church: a place where people can find some rest without condemnation. Guys, we need to get back to the concept of church being a place of safety and willingness to share. With a community that cares for you regardless, one could be set free by sharing their life.

A situation like this happened to me not too long ago. As most of you know, I am in grad school and I’m not the best with time management. Because of this, everything literally snowballed me towards the end of the semester (huge exit exams, projects, papers, etc). On top of that, I struggled with an intense desire to just “chuck the whole Jesus thing” cause I didn’t see anything coming from it. I avoided these feelings by trying to focus on other things, but they did not nothing to ease my fear. I decided then to just share everything with my small group ( a group consisting about 8-15 people from a church for those who do not know). I could barely look up as I shared my heart. What I received in return was empathy, words of encouragement from those who have been there, and a few hugs. The relief I received from sharing my life while not being condemned was amazing. And I’m getting better. Slowly but surely.

Sadly, I think some in the church (and I say some because I know there are many Christians who are) aren’t a sanctuary for people anymore. We do something worse. We ignore. We focus on our jobs, our friends, and not give a second thought about others. Why do we ignore? That’s not what Jesus did. That is not what the church in Acts did. And this is something the church of today should not stand for. Not only should we be a place for safety but we should also be out there where “they” are. The broken. the needy. The “least of these.” To offer comfort, peace and a place for others to share. Not just for 40 days, but for life.

So this is my challenge, Christians: let us be this broken world’s sanctuary.

This comes to mind when I think of this topic.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard a pastor say something about guys struggling with sexual lust/porn/whatever, I could pay my way through a Master’s AND a Doctorate. Most preachers preach to the guys because of how visual they are and how the media bombards us with sexual images, etc.

But what about the girls? Granted we may not be as visually stimulated as guys, but we’re not blind or asexual. We have those feelings, urges, emotions…you get the point.

But heavens if a girl mentions she deals with lust….no we don’t discuss that at bible study. Maybe this goes back to the whole “girls are suppose to be clean and pure” idea that’s been around for years. I dunno. All I know is that if I see a guy who is hot, I’m most likely not thinking, “wow he must have a nice personality.”

Now does that mean if I see a guy and think he is attractive I am lusting? I don’t think so.

Definition of lust (according to dictionary.com): to have a strong or excessive craving, uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite, passionate or overmastering desire or craving.

I do not think it is a sin to look at a girl or guy and have a fleeting thought of attraction. To constantly think about that person (if they are not your wife/husband or they are someone else’s) over and over and over again until you cannot think about anything else, that’s lust. And it can take away the beauty of the rest of the world around us

Confession time: I have a BAD problem with lust. We’re not talking “wow, he’s an attractive gentleman,” but rather an intense desire to “get to know him” in the KJV biblical sense. Yes this is a girl talking! It doesn’t help that everybody I know is getting married and telling me that it’s “worth the wait”. Well what do I now? Sit and knit? It has become so bad at times I start fantasying about people I know and these thoughts cloud my mind and I can’t focus. There are times when I want to do nothing more than lie in bed and “let my mind wonder.” And like the black goo from Spiderman 3, it takes me over. Takes over my thoughts, my heart and my mind. And I don’t want that. I want to keep my sexuality safe for my husband (cause I’m sure not called to celibacy) so that when marriage does come along, I can think of him and only him. Plus, I’m not a big fan of the whole “it’s ok for my husband to lust after so and so. She’s hot.” I mean (and if this gets too personal I apologize) when I want my husband to make love to me, I want it be to well me. My beauty should be enough for him. I want him to think of me when we are together, not another woman. I don’t care how “good it gets”. It’s like mental cheating. But I digress. As for now, I’m taking it one step at a time.

Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

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Ted Turner, the multimillionare who has always been critical of religion (and even made the infamous comment about Christianity as “a religion for losers”), is now working with Christian groups to fund a multimillion dollar project to end malaria in Africa.

Here is a snippet of an article done by yahoo news:

Ted Turner, who once called Christianity a “religion for losers,” launched a $200 million partnership Tuesday with Lutherans and Methodists to fight malaria in Africa, apologizing for his past criticism of religion and calling faith a “bright spot” in the world.

“I regret anything I said about religion that was negative,” he told The Associated Press ahead of a news conference announcing the anti-malaria program.

In the 1980s, the CNN founder criticized Christianity, wrote his own version of the Ten Commandments and in 2001 asked employees who commemorated Ash Wednesday whether they were “Jesus freaks,” saying they should work for Fox. He apologized at the time.

Turner now says he does not consider himself agnostic or atheist, as he had sometimes described himself previously. He prays for sick friends because “it doesn’t hurt,” he said, and maintains several churches on his properties for employees and others who live nearby.

“As I get older, you know, I get more, you know, more tolerant,” Turner said at the news conference. He has attended the churches a few times, but isn’t a regular.

On Tuesday, Turner’s United Nations Foundation, which he started in 1997 with a $1 billion donation, launched the anti-malaria project with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod and the United Methodist Church. The Protestant groups have been working overseas to fight poverty and prevent disease for more than a century.

“Religion is one of the bright spots as far as I’m concerned, even though there are some areas, like everything else, where they’ve gone over the top a little, in my opinion,” Turner said. “But I’m sure God, wherever he is, wants to see us get along with one another and love one another.”

…

He said he has read the Bible “cover to cover twice” even though some of it is “pretty tedious” and considered becoming a missionary as a boy. But he rejected religion after his younger sister died from a form of lupus when they were both young.

Turner still has not completely embraced religion.

He said he continues to subscribe to his alternative commandments, which he called the “Ten Voluntary Initiatives.” They include caring for people and the earth, promising not to have more than two children and contributing to the less fortunate.

Heh. Maybe somebody will pull a Dawkins and say that Turner is just “getting old and crazy” in his years to actually find something positive in religion. I mean after all, Turner is a full two years older than Dawkins.

(Read the full article here)

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One complaint that I often hear about Christians is that we are irrational:

• The whole concept of believing in a God who lets bad things happen for a reason
• A guy who dies and comes back to life without any medical treatment
• The entire concept of the Holy Spirit.

It doesn’t make sense all the time. I admit it. And sometimes irrationality can hurt people if given to bad situations.

However, being irrational doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s wrong. For example, the guy who jumped on the track in New York to save a man’s life was being irrational. Half the artists, writers, and such that we admire were “irrational.” People who spend their lives in war-torn countries split up by centuries of hate, administering food and water, are “irrational” since they are more likely to lose their lives.

Martin Luther King Jr. was considered “irrational” for believing that people deserve to be treated equally.

If this is what it means to be irrational, then I’m in.

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Whenever I stay up late, I hear some infomercial for another Christian worship CD with classics like “I Can Sing Of Your Love Forever”, “Flood” and “Butterfly Kisses” (which I still don’t get how that relates to Jesus, but then again I never have listened to it all the way through). So it got me thinking…

For all the atheists/agnostics/freethinkers, if you could, what songs would you put on your compilation CD?

Be respectful, friends.

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Me: I think I am going to do Lent this year.

My roommate Denise: Why? You’re not Catholic.

Me: I know but I’ve done it before.

Denise: Well I’ll give up what I have always given up: Christianity. (She’s Jewish.)

Ok, so I’m not Catholic but for the past two years, I have tried to give up something during the time of Lent. However, I usually wouldn’t give up food items like chocolate or fried foods. I would give up stuff like watching TV. This kind of brought to bring focus back on God when I allowed myself to get distracted from the world. However, this year it kinda snuck up on me. I may try to ease into it this week and start going hardcore

Things I want to give up:

Internet (except for school emails and research), especially youtube (don’t laugh. I’m addicted.)

TV

Things I want to increase:

Reading my Bible

Praying

Reading Traveling Mercies (because I have heard a great deal about it)

To be honest, I don’t think you have to be Catholic or religious for that matter to use this time for reflection and potential change. I challenge everyone to take a look at how they are currently using their time on this planet. If you like where you are going, then continue. If there is something you want to do more of, then try at least for 40 days to make an effort to spend your time doing something else (i.e. spending time with family, relaxing)

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I’m thinking of writing a fiction book (in the far future). One book that gives an honest portrayal of both Christians and atheists without all of the polemic crap. Here’s an intro to the main characters (names may change as I see fit).

Max: After being raised on the belief that a person does not need religion to lead a fulfilled life , she falls into the world of drugs. Although she has read every popular self-help/reason filled book ever written and has tried her hardest, she still cannot overcome her addiction. It is by chance she meets up with a group of Christians who demonstrate a new life for her. Although she hesitates at first due to her past experiences with Christians, Max decides to explore for herself and starts to understand the true relationship with Jesus. However, new struggles come from trying to connect with her new less skeptical brothers and sisters and trying to relate to those in her past life who now claim that she is weak.

Rachel: The daughter of a Baptist preacher, Rachel struggles to find her new identity in atheism after her own personal journey. Although she shows no resentment towards her former religion, she quickly becomes angry with the increasing resentment of her family, the assumptions that she now lacks any morals and the pressure to “convert back”. She hates being told that she never was a “true” Christian even though she was just as committed as anybody else. She just wants to be left alone and be able to tell her own story.

Tyler: The hard-core fundamentalist Christian. Tyler is convinced of the change in his life because of Christ and seeks to aggressively tell everyone in his path about Him by using any methods necessary (i.e. screaming to the masses about the Second Coming). Although he constantly debates with his brother Arnie and the rest of the world, his intense passion comes from both proving to his brother that the Christianity that they were raised in is not true Christianity and demonstrating to a broken world how much God loves them.

Arnie: The complete opposite of Tyler, but similar in many ways. A militant atheist, Arnie seeks to educate the masses about the oppressive nature and lies brought on by religion. He hates the assumptions that people make about his beliefs and how he does not care about the world around him just because he “lacks faith in God.” Although he constantly debates with Tyler, Arnie cares for him deeply and worries that his brother will be burned again by the very religion that made their lives hell not so long ago.

These characters are not as developed as of yet but I would like to develop stories around them. I want to show people different reasons why Christians and atheists act the way they do. And before anyone starts, I know that many people walk into or out of faith for different reasons. These are just four characters with four different stories.

Thoughts?

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In the past few months, I have noticed non-religious groups encouraging others to be more outspoken on their beliefs. However, it seems as if some non-religious people are spending much of their time mocking others for their religious beliefs. For example, the Rational Response Squad started this idea called the Blasphemy Challenge where people were challenged to send in a tape that blasphemed against the Holy Spirit to prove that they weren’t scared of eternal damnation. I can understand some of the reasons (i.e. a cathartic release from a lifetime of religious oppression) but I wonder about those who seem to be just as ignorant about the majority of Christians but then act as if they are more “enlightened” and “rational” than the rest of the world. Personally, to mock an entire group of people’s beliefs (especially those shared by a large percentage of people who don’t even act like complete tools) to build up another group doesn’t seem to be the rational approach (pun intended) to promote atheism.

Challenges like these make me think of other areas where the Christian faith is mocked.

Now when I mean mocked, I don’t mean calling out certain discrepancies in the Bible or saying that there is an inconsistency with the God of the Bible and the God that people talk about. Critiques like these don’t bother me. It’s when people resort to disrespectful mocking that makes me angry.

For example, in the movie Saved, I was offended when one of the characters comments about the guy playing Jesus in the crucifixion with his loincloth and him being “hung” on the cross. Double meaning intended. I mean why was this necessary if it was suppose to be a satire on Christians (as said by the actors of the movie)? Or the T-shirt that says “Your God is an atheist. (What they mean is that since God does not believe there is not a higher power since He IS the higher power, then by definition He is an atheist. If you have this shirt, I’ll just go ahead and say that it doesn’t make you look witty or clever. It makes you look obnoxious. Not saying that you are but you look like a tool.)

Now before you start to say I don’t have a sense of humor, I do. But sometimes I feel like people take it too far to prove a point. And it doesn’t help in the long run. Not too long ago, I took a public speaking course and I learned about “trigger” words. These words are suppose to be so controversial that the audience would not focus on the rest of the speech and only focus on these words. I have a feeling that certain tactics like the “trigger” words do more harm than good. If you want people to listen, speak out. By all means. Just don’t be a jerk about it.

And yes I am very aware that Christians do the same thing as well so this post also goes out to them too. Christians, PLEASE for the love of all that is holy, stop trying to argue the idea of atheism more likely breeding amoral heathens who rape babies to compare the holiness of Christ and his followers. Those arguments suck and they don’t prove jack.

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