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In the midst of trying to figure our where that “spark” had gone, last week Tiffany told me something that I’ll never forget:

I’m not very attracted to you anymore because you don’t have that passion that you had when we first started dating.

Ouch?

Bringing Sexy BackSee, when Tiff and I first started dating, I was riding the wave of the ‘new Christian’ euphoria. Pick any of the seven nine (oops) fruits of the spirit: that was my middle name! I wouldn’t miss ANY church event for the world. I was organizing group outings, picnics, and bible studies. I would send her text messages quoting scripture. I led a passion-filled life that pursued Christ with energy and enthusiasm.

Eventually the wave died down and the euphoria faded away. Exit my passion.

In attempt to find my passion, I’ve spent the past six months or so flirting with the idea that I could have possibly chased it away with negativity (This Just In: You Suck). Books, bible studies, self-reflection, sermons, and advice from friends: although extremely helpful, none could deliver the same punch in the gut as your girlfriend telling you that she’s “lost that lovin’ feeling,” ya know?

This weekend while Tiffany was at a Beth Moore woman’s conference in Atlanta, I had plenty of time to think and meditate. What has become of me? Where is that passion that once was the very pulse of me?

What’s Wrong With Me?

I believe that my critical attitude and negative spirit have consumed me and stolen my passion for, well, life! In her book “Battlefield of the mind,” Joyce Meyer writes:

Positive minds produce positive lives. Negative minds produce negative lives. Positive thoughts are always full of faith and hope. Negative thoughts are always full of fear and doubt.

Some people are afraid of hope because they have been hurt so much in life. They have had so many disappointments, they don’t think they can face the pain of another one. Therefore, they refuse to hope so they won’t be disappointed.

Yep, that about sums me up.

So What Now?

  1. I admit, I have become a negative and critical person who has lost his passion.
  2. I want to change.
  3. I cannot change myself (I’ve dug the hole WAY too deep). I will rely on God.
  4. I know this is NOT an overnight process.
  5. I will NOT become discouraged during this ‘healing’ process.

Am I mad at Tiffany for calling me out? Absolutely not. She did exactly what she was supposed to do:

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Hebrews 10:24

I am honored to be dating a woman who is strong enough, bold enough, and loves me enough to have such a tough conversation with me.

I refuse to let negativity and a critical spirit define me any more. It’s time to drop the negativity and criticality, locate my passion, pick it up, and live an abundant life! Tiff, watch out cuz I’m about to be drop dead sexy!

Timberlake, you think you’re “bringing sexy back?” Heh, move over and let this friendly Christian show you how it’s done!

Side note: As usual, this post is personal, however, I bet it’s not unique to me. I’d encourage you to face your issues head-on and prayerfully seek repentance and redemption.

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