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Men hate going to church. That’s the rumor anyhow. It’s makes us feel like sissies. We sing sweet love songs to Jesus…a man. We’re expected to be emotional (which is about as easy as rocket science for many men).
Hold me close, let your love surround me.
Bring me near, draw me to your side.
I’m desparate [sic] for you, I’m lost without you.
Let my words be few.
Jesus, I am so in love with you.
So go the lyrics to a popular worship song.
The author of this article from chron.com has given a great list of statics and reasons why the percentage of men that attend church is significantly less than the number of women.
Christianity needs a resurgence of masculinity. We need men who, like the apostles, pioneers of faith, and missionaries take tremendous steps of faith and journey boldly forward. Families need men who are led of God and in turn, lead their families - not with coercion, but by example.
For this to happen, churches should consider becoming a more “guy-friendly” place. Encourage accomplishment and achievement. Invite tasks and challenges. All of these appeal to men. And maybe a song like “Onward, Christian Soldiers” could be sung occasionally.
Haha - I can hear it now. “Father, we thank you for ham, football, and double-layered toilet paper. You are a mighty King…kinda like Leonidas from 300…great movie…and God, *BURP*, thank you for blessing Mike, our worship leader, with the uncanny ability to play guitar solos like Eddie Van Halen. Amen”
Personally, I find this a bit humorous. I love Jesus and I’m not ashamed. Regardless, this is an interesting read.
Read the full article here.
Popularity: 7% [?]
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Obviously, I’m not the target audience for this, but the reason I hated going to church was because it was so incredibly boring. There’s only so many times you can read the hymnal.
Just curious…what denomination church did you attend?
Catholic, with the stand-up / sit-down / kneel / calisthenics etc. When I was best man at my brother’s wedding in a Catholic church, the first time they did the ‘in the name of the father and the son and the holy ghost’ I found my hand going through the motions out of muscle memory before I even realized what I was doing. It gave me a chuckle.
=))
Yeah, the ol traditional services work for some people. Not me. Boring for me too.
Wait till you see tomorrow’s post. Let me know if you would be bored at that church.
Hey Bill,
If we are going to make worship more man-friendly, then I suggest we add:
A pre-sermon stretch (during which men are allowed to scratch themselves)
Take out the pews and bring in recliners with regular and communion-sized cup holders
Conclude each service with a caged fighting match between an elder and a deacon (but only the contemporary worship)
I’m also the wrong audience for this. What is the first impression that you get from a church though? What motivates people to attend? What keeps people going back?
If my local church loooked more like a library but with comfier chairs and an atmosphere conductive to discussion (and free coffee) then you’d never get rid of me. Instead it’s an old, grand building that smells funny. It’s chairs aren’t even chairs, they’re benches made from some kind of heat absorbing hardwood. The only book is kept out of reach on a platform. The guy in charge dresses funny. Lots of old ladies seem to go in and out and it’s too quiet to start a conversation.
I’m only half stereotyping.
lol - did they breed trees specially to produce heat-absorbing wood for the pews in old English churches?
It was a revelation to come to America and go to churches with heating. People actually take their coats off and hang them up in churches here!
(The churches still smell funny though - they must have special ‘church polish’)
Anyway I’ve run across Murrow before (here - comment #2 and others are by me. I wasn’t impressed.
Churches with heating! Why I’ve never heard of such a thing. I bet the vicars in America aren’t even bearded and middle aged.
hov…
You should see some of the churches these days. Free coffee and and a comfy atmosphere is just the beginning. They’re truly amazing. VERY accommodating and inviting.
Bill, you Americans get all the good stuff. I bet you even get loos in your churches. We have to pop next door to the pub if we get caught short. :”>
Hover - next time you’re down this way, check out this place. last time i went in there they had plasma screens and rock bands. a friend who attends has offered to take me to a service sometime. i am *so* taking her up on that.
(although i do need her to hide behind, they’re like over-enthusiastic shop assistants in there.)
Oh I follow this article all the way - I’d say way more than 1/2 of guys feel this way as well… but probably closer to 90%. Drop by a Promise Keepers convention and you’ll see some surprised faces on the guys
Oh I love this post! As a woman I totally agree. There are so many men I know who don’t really enjoy the worship and wont come till its over. I myself love worship but do see it as somewhat female oriented.
As a single Christian woman I pray for a man with the heart of a warrior for Christ. A strong man. No sissies wanted here! Now I am not saying men worshiping our creator is wrong in the least bit or sometimes getting a little teary eyed is wrong either.
But…man up men!
I say this to the church today also. I love a man who can truly share his heart and feel sensitive but I also want to see some warriors amongst us. So as for songs like Onward Christian Soilders….Bring it!
A man I know and love once said, “I get nagged, guilted, pushed and judged all week at work. I don’t NEED to go to church and have the same thing happen there as well.”
Since the church IS male dominant, it may be even harder for men than it is for women. We are used to being bossed around by men. Men have a harder time dealing with that than we do.
The more think about it, the more I wonder just how different it was in the New Testament church. Go to someone’s house. Eat. Hang out. Dialog about ideas and hear about someone who died to set you free. Church today has become just one more institutionalized routine of bondage, like school and work. Very little real time for relationship, burden bearing and interaction. Someone always telling you what you can and cannot do (even in relation to your gifts and callings).
It gets to where it all is such a stress it distracts me from Jesus and keeps me focused on people and how they treat and mistreat one another. If I keep all that to myself, my husband hangs in there. But when I’m honest about how I feel, he realizes he’s not alone… and then we both have a problem.
We in the process of “dechurching” and asking God to lead us to what is REAL… His definition of church.