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A letter to the future love of my life. My soul mate. My wife.

Honey, I try daily to show you how much I love you. I don’t ever want to become complacent in my efforts. You are one in a million and nothing short of a blessing. Thank you for everything you do. I love you.

Today is an important day. Today I take a stand. Today is the day that very well may go down in the book of man history. Today is the day that I tell you of the next major chapter of my life:

I’m installing a urinal in the bathroom.

Now, before you tell me I’m being impulsive and silly, I’d like you to read my preemptive rebuttal to your likely responses.

  • It’s quick. Baby, as you know, my goal is to spend time with you. The less time I spend “going,” the more time I’ll have for you! The truth is, I’ve never enjoyed my bathroom time as much as I’ve enjoyed my quality time with you. :-D
  • It feeds my “man-ego.” I, along with every other man, have been given a gift from God - I can pee while standing up. I’m gonna let you in on a little secret - a guy will never feels as manly as he does while “going” on a tree. The urinal, though made of porcelain, almost acts as a “mock-tree.” A man’s place is outdoors. It’s where he feels most comfortable. This urinal, upon installation/use, will reconnect me with my true place of happiness. I, my beautiful wife, will be the man of all men when I install my wall-mounted testosterone bowl.
  • It’ benefits you. No more leaving the toilet seat up! It’s easy to clean (for both of us). It’s space efficient. You have a happier husband. Really I’d say this is more for you than it is for me.

:-) :-) :-)
Anyone else ever wanted a urinal?

Have an awesome weekend!

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